And although I truly don’t believe in the finality of “death” as we call it, that doesn’t change the fact that there is now a knowing that the personality I enjoyed is no longer around to hug. There is the moment when my thoughts drift to that recently-departed person, wanting to ask this or that – and having to remind myself that the opportunity to hear the sound of that special specific voice or the laughter we shared will now have to wait until I join them in the hereafter.
How Will I React?
We never know how we will react to the death of a loved one until it happens. We think we are prepared, but we often don’t take into account the many sub-texts and layers of death. There are so many symbolic meanings: An end. A beginning. A loss. A sense that something is missing.
Symbolic Deaths and the Loss of Identity
And how many deaths do we experience in ways we never considered? The death of a job, which often causes the death of a certain identity or self-image. The end of a relationship is also a type of death. Each “death” challenges us to question “Who am I without ______ in my life?”
What Are We Here For?
For whatever reason, I have always had a sense that my life serves to allow me to experience a wide range of diverse situations, emotions and events so that I can literally empathize with just about anyone.
And because I feel so close to you, I just have to be honest and let you see me, warts and all, as I process a whole new reality without those special loved ones within it.
How Do You Grieve?
Last night, my husband commented, “You grieve very differently from most people.”
“Oh?” I responded. “How so?”
Pausing a moment, Jim said, “You put on a brave face and do what needs to be done, smiling and acting normally. Then a wave of grief hits you, and you go within to process alone. Then you are back up, doing whatever needs to be done. Then a wave hits and you go within again. You have this up and down method of grieving.”
Actually, I think that is probably how many people process grief. It is definitely an up and down roller coaster ride of emotions.
Learning to Know Thyself…
There are many ways in which the practice of remote viewing has helped me, but most specifically, it has been in that I have become more aware of emotions, reactions and the reasons behind them. CRV helped me learn to see things about myself more honestly. We have to deal with success and failure in CRV, and the ego sometimes takes a beating. But it is all a very gentle, loving path of progress and growth.
Meanwhile, I have been spending more time outdoors, helping my husband build a greenhouse and enjoying walks with the dogs. When sadness or a sense of loss hits me, I sit down and feel it, and then I focus on the many happy memories I have of each of the four loved ones who recently departed this realm.
Jim building the greenhouse.
The greenhouse coming together.
Appreciation and Gratitude
Thank you once again for understanding why I haven’t been quite as on top of everything lately – especially communicating with you. Don’t worry; I am mostly back. But as Jim says, I will be coming and going for a while, as I continue to ride the roller coaster of life.
Stay safe and warm and healthy.
PS -- Stay tuned for an upcoming letter with my predictions and recommendations for the future. AND… Back by popular demand, Lyn Buchanan and I will be doing more LIVE, FREE webinars for you! Keep an eye on your emails for announcements.