When Feelings Become Overwhelming
People all over the world are feeling pain nowadays. I’m sure you’ve felt it, too.
None of us wants to feel painful feelings. In our avoidance of pain, we bury our emotions so we don’t have to feel that burning sensation, as though all our nerves are on fire. When everything feels chaotic and hopeless, it’s easier to turn our feelings off.
As humans, we love to feel good! Feelings of euphoria, joy, exuberance, passion, excitement are what make us want to live. They make us want to get up in the morning to see what this new day will bring. If we close ourselves off to painful feelings, what happens to our ability to feel the good things? Let’s talk about that for a minute…
The external world can feel so chaotic. And we are all connected. You see the suffering of others and it makes you sad, right? We all feel it. We feel their pain and their pain becomes our pain.
Feelings of rage, of injustice, anger, a need to control, a desire to get revenge, to take action… Those drivers can be all-consuming.
So, where is the balance between feeling strong rage and having inner peace, joy and love of life? Where do we reach in the melee of all that is happening around us to find good in the midst of evil?
I’ve been struggling with that myself in the past few years. I’ve questioned myself, wondering if I am withdrawing from the pain of others just to stop feeling so much. Am I running away from this reality? Am I becoming totally selfish?
Resilience Vs. Inflexibility
I’ve noticed patterns in others that I believe apply to me, too. When we’re young, we are flexible and resilient. We have that stretchy quality that allows us to bend with the winds of change and adversity. We can withstand a lot of trauma.
When I went through tough times in my youth, I felt almost unlimited in my ability to bounce back. I was in a cult, and some messed-up people controlled my life, stole my sovereignty, and put me in dangerous situations. Yet, overcoming became my modus operandi. I felt invincible, even in the midst of terrible pain.
My will to live was extremely strong. Life was just too exciting to allow myself to be beaten back by a few mean-spirited people or by the dictates of an insane cult leader, or – most difficult of all for me – by being locked in a marriage to a terribly mismatched and equally wounded warrior. The demands of life were many. I was expected to take care of my children, hand-wash all my family’s laundry, spend my days collecting money on the streets for the cult, and my nights singing in a band. I barely slept for a few years. It was humanly impossible, and yet, I did it, day after day.
I did get angry and I did rebel, eventually. Yet, each day, I remember that I was drawn into life itself. The opportunities to meet new people and learn new things and have meaningful conversations and experience the growth and discoveries of my children… these things kept me going.
Life and time and experience have a way of wearing us down. We age and become less flexible. Our ability to spring back from hard blows diminishes.
Emotional Lethargy?
Partly self-defense, partly exhaustion, and partly the wearing out of this physical form in which we are encased while on this earthly plane, we find ourselves experiencing a sort of emotional lethargy. Sad feelings weigh on us, and in our attempt to shake them off, we distract ourselves with movies, shows, social media, games. Really feeling deeply feels like too much work.
Desperation. Anxiety. A terrible sense of overwhelm. Helplessness. Impending doom. A desire to escape, to give up, to run away. People all over the world are experiencing these emotions and worse. A sense of horror, of disbelief, of shock.
No one wants to feel these emotions. If circumstances don’t force us to feel this way (meaning actually being in events like floods, fire, war, earthquakes, or the killing of innocents) … if we are relatively unscathed and watching from afar … we find ourselves trying to escape the emotions. We grab whatever we can to help us avoid unpleasant feelings.
It’s human nature! We all do it to some degree. Who could blame us?
But… it is what leads to what I refer to as “emotional lethargy.” It takes too much effort to try to really FEEL. If I open myself up to feel great joy or euphoria, I am also opening myself up to feeling the bad feelings.
The conundrum is that closing ourselves off to the good feelings doesn’t really protect us from feeling those nasty feelings we do not want to feel. We feel those, anyway.
Carrying the Weight of the World
Here’s the problem: You look one direction and are besieged by news of incoming ETs and altered reality. Look another way, and leaders the world over seem insane, power-mad, cruel and greedy. Look again and you see that the world seems to be on fire! Greedy corporations burn down the Amazon and frack their way to the destruction of the planet. Glaciers crack, mega-storms flood. and millions lose their homes.
Is it any wonder, then, that we want to close our eyes to what is happening all around us? Or that we feel overcome by fear, hopeless and overwhelmed?
The very sense of survival that all of us are born with dictates our need to escape danger – and the world feels so very dangerous right now.
Finding Joy in this Moment
So, what is the answer? We know that closing ourselves off doesn’t keep us from feeling painful feelings. We feel them, anyway!
How do we keep our inner peace intact and allow ourselves to feel joy, peace, love, passion, euphoria and ecstasy while living in a world that feels so dangerous?
Whether you as an individual are guided to take action in any of the life events occurring all over the world to save others or save the earth, or if you are in a season of life in which your days of saving the world are over and you want to enjoy your golden years in peace as best you can — you have to find those joyful emotions within so you can get up and participate in life again each day.
We must move from a point of taking in all the negativity around us to focusing on a wee moment of time in which we notice the beauty of a flower … or the movement of the ants within the grass … or the joy of a Campesina proudly showing off her homemade wares.
It helps to step away from all the chaos and turn your attention to that which you can affect in a good way.
What is one small thing you can do today to help someone else?
What is one uplifting passage you can read this morning to shift your thoughts to joy, or peace or love?
Who can you call to encourage today?
“But Lori, wait! The Great Disclosure is happening! World War III is about to break out! My life could drastically change in the next few days or hours!”
That is true. Disaster may be waiting right around the corner. But why not enjoy this moment of peace?
Why should future possibilities rob you of your joy right now?
If you are blessed with peace today – if you have enough food to eat, you have water, you have clothing and shelter – then reach for gratitude. Close your eyes and send that feeling of peace, gratitude, love and comfort to all those in the world who are not as fortunate, who may be running for their lives, or grieving a huge loss.
Remember: Don’t become them! Don’t take on those feelings of fear or loss! That isn’t your job. And if you do, you’ll diminish your ability to help. You’ll be too immersed in depression to lift a finger.
Acknowledge that there are many things in this world beyond your control right now, but you do not have to take them on. You are not obligated to be miserable in order to do homage to those who are suffering.
Your joy contributes to joy overall.
Consciously choosing to put forth the effort to feel GOOD today (and yes, it can feel like a huge effort) is your job. Life is asking something of you. It requires discipline. But the only other option is unacceptable. We can’t give up!
Enjoy this moment. Look around and find all the things you can be grateful for. Then bask in them.
Becoming a Light in this World
Determine that today will be the beginning of a new start in your life. Decide that, regardless of your age or even your circumstances, you are going to WORK and put forth a real effort to be a light in this world.
The darker the darkness, the more easily even the light of one tiny candle can be seen. No matter what is happening around you, be like the tiny bird, singing on the branch near the raging flood waters. Sing! Dance! Hug. Embrace life with all its ups and downs. As scary as it may seem, feel your feelings and see what you can transmute.
We are all potential alchemists! You can transmute rage into compassion. Turn feelings of hopelessness into helpful action. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or at the charity of your choice. Remember that you can’t draw from an empty well. Be sure to stay filled up with uplifting reading or listening. Be active, because physical activity is a big part of mental health.
I hope this has been helpful to you today. We all need each other to carry us through this amazingly challenging time in world history. For whatever reason, we are here now, and we can choose to be the best we can be, regardless of the events occurring around us. You can do it! And I am right there with you.
Much love,
