In my meditation this morning, I realized that I carry a story within me, and my story sometimes tells me that I am not worthy, or I’m not measuring up – unless I am DOING something, and that something must be “worthy.”
What is “worthy”?
Helping someone. Accomplishing something. Getting something DONE.
Making progress… But unfortunately, “progress” is also measured by the yardstick held by some invisible judge implanted in my brain long ago.
We all carry stories. But many of those stories ride along silently in our subconscious minds, dictating our actions or even just our emotions. We have this unpleasant sense that rumbles along in the inner recesses of our spirit, like a film of grease that you suddenly notice is on your eyeglasses, keeping you from seeing clearly, but… you weren’t even aware of it until now.
It makes you feel icky, unhappy, or dissatisfied with yourself. But when you bring awareness of it to your conscious mind, and really take a good look at it, you realize it has been controlling your actions for a long time.
How can you just BE when that niggly bitch is constantly sticking a thorn in your paw?
It is a choice. We must choose it. Why would we choose to just be? Well here are my reasons:
I want to step away and enjoy a forest. I want to fall in love with people around me and learn about their lives. I want to write, to sing, to play, to hike, to explore my surroundings, to create art.
Can you relate?
Here’s the key:
Becoming aware that the story is just a story – that it is not Truth, that it is not even really yours — is part of the journey. Part of The Letting Go. Recognize the Enemy within and force it to leave. That is the goal.
When we let these old stories go, our hearts feel much lighter. We can soar with the eagles. We learn how to just BE. To rest in simple existence for a time.
Much love,
