A friend and I were having a texting conversation today. She is Catholic, and makes food for funerals and donates to the food pantry. But she always feels as though, no matter what she does - it is never enough. She never exercises enough. She doesn’t help the poor enough. She doesn’t volunteer often enough. She feels guilty if she would rather lie down with a good book than go out and help in yet another charitable cause.
Now in her 8th decade of life, she is still beating herself up and feeling unhappy because … “it is never enough.” Or, even worse: I am never enough. All this in spite of the fact that she is an amazing friend, a wonderful wife, mother, grandmother, a good sister, and a dedicated volunteer. To her, it seems that everyone else is always doing more than she is.
The Pressure to Follow All the Rules
Many of us were raised to follow all the rules, all the time. Breaking a rule was never allowed! And we have grown up to create inner rules that run our lives. For example, nowadays, “challenges” are all the rage. Meditation challenges. Journaling challenges. Exercise challenges. Even diet challenges. There are 7-day challenges, 14-day challenges, 90-day challenges.
So we begin a challenge feeling very motivated: Rah Rah Rah!!! Go Go Go! Yay, TEAM!
Then life takes over… and we miss a day. Or two. Or three. The guilt sets in. A terrible feeling of failure. Our sense of self-worth deflates. Why can’t I ever stick with anything?
Are You Beating Yourself Up Over Remote Viewing?
As a remote viewer, are you feeling behind? That you don’t practice enough, or work hard enough? Maybe you think you aren’t “psychic enough”? Or that you aren’t making as much progress as everyone else?
Was there a seed planted deep within your subconscious mind when you were tiny, telling you that - no matter what you do - you are not enough?
Regardless of who planted that seed, or when it was planted… It is time to root that out! Let’s stop beating ourselves up!
Embracing the Good You Have Done
Sit down and think for just a moment of all the good things you have done in your life. And if you can’t think of anything, ask someone you trust to tell you the good things they have noticed about you. You aren’t fishing for compliments, but simply needing an outside perspective.
Even though you don’t need it, I am giving you my permission to ease up! Give yourself a break! Remember that it is ok to do something that is just for you.
The Dangers of Self-Neglect
Like you, I was caught up in this very same hamster wheel of self-condemnation. It was miserable. And - it damn near killed me. I was working 14-hour days, and 14-day weeks with no break. Not until Jim and I both faced life-threatening health challenges did I wake up to how important self-care is. I thought I knew all about self-love. But knowing something intellectually and truly living it are two very different things.
A New Rule for Self-Care
In order to climb off the hamster wheel and re-find the joy in my life, I had to make a new rule: When it comes to doing something for myself - like a 7-day meditation challenge, for example - everything has to be on my schedule. I may listen to Day One, but then Day Two and Day Three get busy and I miss those days. On Day Four, I may listen to Day Two. On Day Five, I may listen to Day Three. No guilt. No worries. I am going at my own pace, in a way that fits into my life.
Treat those things you do for self-improvement like a 24-hour buffet: The food is always ready, so you eat when you are hungry and take only what you really like.
The Balance Between Discipline and Compassion
Self-discipline doesn’t have to be such a hard task master. We all feel lacking in some area! So when you really want to learn something, you acknowledge that anything that is worth something costs something.
The question is: How badly do you want it? Anything you want badly enough, you will make the time for.
Throughout my life, sleep, exercise, and eating well have been the toughest hurdles for me to manage with consistency. I am probably doing better with those now than ever before. What made the difference?
The life-threatening scare of illness or incapacity possibly causing me to become a burden to others forced me to take action.
The difference between the terrible way I was feeling and the energized way I feel now - when I am managing my sleep, exercise, and eating - is a constant motivator.
Rather than thinking, “I am on such-and-such diet plan” – I took away the pressure of obligation and replaced it with identity. I am strong and fit. I am a Nutritarian.
I stopped trying to be perfect, and instead eased up on myself: Each day, I do my best. Some days, my best is terrific! Other days, not so good. But it is always my best under the circumstances.
I am compassionate with myself about the circumstances.
Focus on Self-Care and Growth
What are your greatest challenges right now? What are the biggest obstacles you are facing in your life?
Are you beating yourself up and feeling as though you are always missing the mark somehow?
Can you come up with a list of 5 things you can do for yourself to make your life easier? Or 5 ways you will start loving yourself?
You, Remote Viewing, and Life
I see you - my student - often telling me you missed the target - when you actually nailed it. Is that how you are about life? If so, let CRV teach you this one thing: You are doing GREAT, no matter what! Even when you feel you totally failed - you didn’t! Just the fact that you practice makes you a winner.
Every CRV session is an opportunity to learn something about yourself. And you are. You are growing by leaps and bounds, even when you feel as if you are standing still. We are all right there with you!
